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All of The Best Client Advice, Ever.

The internet is a beautiful place. Thanks to connection and community, there's a treasure trove of wonderful, insightful advice for curious new clients. In no particular order, here's some brilliant advice from brilliant escorts:

Advice for the first-time clients of sex workers, escorts, and companions.

The internet is a beautiful place. Thanks to connection and community, there exists a veritable treasure trove of wonderful, insightful advice for curious new clients.

I'm grateful to have so many eloquent people around me articulating things that deeply resonate better than I personally could.

In no particular order, here's a massive collection of brilliant advice from brilliant escorts for their clients, interspersed with my own specific opinions and advice:

 Maggie McNeil is a well-established writer, worker, and activist whos' long standing blog contains a wealth of information, including this "Advice for Clients" article from 2010.

 Here's Cosmopolitan's list of great tips, written by sex educator Andre Shakti in 2015. And there's this list of 10 Tips comprised by "Stichting Man" a group of client-activists based in the Netherlands who advocate better working conditions for the escorts they patronize.

 And here's an an article very similar to this one by The Satisfaction Project . The Satisfaction Project is a great overall resource you may find yourself returning to time and time again. In the aforementioned article I've linked, the advice comes from experienced clients. Published in 2021.

If you're curious about the bigger picture, here's an article from She Does the City (a Canadian publication) on "How to Best Support Sex Workers", written in 2021.

A major (arguably the major) advertising platform for verified escorts is Tryst.link - I love Tryst because they are owned and operated by escorts and they offer a free Client Guide on their blog.

You can also check out this recent (Feb 2023) DMARGE article, "How to Be An Escorts' Favorite Client".

You'll find that what it takes to be a good client is the same whether you're seeing an independent escort (like myself), or an agency escort. Here's a blog post titled "The Ideal Client : How to Be the Type of Client Escorts Love" written by Rebecca Adams of Doll House, an escort agency in New Zealand, in 2022.

If Reddit is more your speed I can recommend this 9-year old post from r/SexWorkers; "Any tips for a first-time client?" . There's actually a subreddit specifically for questions called r/AskAnEscort. You might also find the subreddit r/ClientsAndCompanions to be a useful, welcoming space.

The behemoth of consciousness-raising, accessible information in recent years has been thanks to Twitter. There are easily a thousand tweets I could add here (and over time as I update this page I'm sure I will) but for now I present for your consideration:

(Note, the abbreviation "SW" refers to "Sex Workers" - a term which includes escorts/companions/courtesans [sometimes called "providers"], dommes, and erotic massage providers.)

 Regarding the last tweet (pictured above):

 For some people, life is so absolutely hectic that it is literally impossible to know when you'll be able to abscond away for a sexy, afternoon rendezvous. I get that. But some people simply don't like to book ahead.

 I won't be speaking for every companion (there are differing schools of thought here) but here's my advice in concerning the logistics of trying to schedule with me:

 First of all, if you are a new client who knows that you want to meet at some point but aren't sure when the opportunity will arise, the best hedge towards a successful short-notice date is to pre-screen. This means, let me screen you ahead of time and should our schedules match up at some point in the future, we won't be delayed due to me still needing to screen you.

 It takes me about 2 hours to screen a new client, longer if I need to wait to hear back from references. This is before getting dressed for our date and my travel time en route to you. If you do the math we're looking at about 4 hours conservatively, and the only thing here that can be done ahead of time is the screening. So let's do that!

 The next option is to stay keen on when I do have cancellations. I will generally send a quick message out to everyone on my newsletter list should I find myself with a sudden change that leaves an opening in my schedule, and that might be our moment! (I may also soon start using Telegram or Whatsapp for these sorts of short-notice alerts, just a matter of setting up the best option for all involved parties.)

 A third option if you're feeling very generous is to sponsor a photoshoot. For shoots, I reserve a hotel for two nights so that I have two opportunities for early morning sunlight (that elusive "Golden Hour"). If you know you'll have available time during a two-day period but aren't sure exactly when we might be able to work something out in the down time between photoshoots, where you'd have a wide window of time for our date to potentially happen.

 If you're unsure of when you'll be in NYC again, the option exists to either "fly me to you" or "train me to you". If you're on Long Island, a car can be arranged to drive me either all the way out east or to somewhere between both of us.

(Not familiar with the concept of "FMTY" Fly Me To You? I'll be writing my own article covering it but in the meantime, if you have a Hustler subscription here's an article on this modern bespoke phenomenon.)

 Beyond that, I sympathize with those that cannot plan ahead very much, but I can't exclusively cater to people who are totally unable to ever nail down an appointment. Occasionally last minute dates work out and they can be amazing! But if most clients pushed for schedule last minute dates, soon enough zero dates happen. It becomes a domino affect that eventually impacts the those who did book in advance.

 I try my best to save the "room for error" in my schedule for those who need it the most. Such as clients who work in medicine. I have clients in accounting and finance and stay mindful of their busy seasons. I have clients who fly into NYC regularly and have been experiencing increasing headaches with regards to air travel in recent years. I have clients with teams entirely too enthusiastic about impromptu Zoom calls...

 This isn't about any of them. They all try to schedule ahead whenever they can, and I do my best to accommodate when they can't. Even then, life happens. But I can tell that they're trying their best, so they get my best. It's as simple as trying to be considerate of each other.

 And you know what? The most honest reason I really don't want to make a habit of last minute bookings? I finally have my life organized! I wake up early, I observe routine, I keep multiple calendars,. I turn my phone off long before bed and I strive to be on time because that's how I want to show up in the world. All of this has drastically improved my life. The first thing I learned on this journey is that it's really, really difficult to maintain relationships with people who operate in a completely different, short-notice style.

So, that's my screed on scheduling! Back to more advice in 280 characters or less:

Do you love a long, information-rich Twitter thread? 'Cause I sure love a long, information-rich Twitter thread. Here's some rabbit holes you can dive down.

Are you back? Cool, welcome back!

I really like this next tweet. So simple yet so true.

Here's some advice specific to meeting in hotels. Discreet = Normal. Anything abnormal will attract unnecessary attention. Basically, just take a deep breath, act like you belong, and don't overthink it!

For example:

 This really should not have to be said, but physical cleanliness right before intimacy is extremely important to ensuring a good time!

 In short, anywhere you'd like someone to put their mouth needs to interact with soap and warm water. The best way to ensure successful interactions in these regions is to use a loofah, sponge, or washcloth. Teeth should always be freshly brushed, hands washed, and for extra points, please use a nail scrubber.

(The pH balance of a ladies intimate area is very sensitive, and exposure to sweat, dirt, etc can really throw things off.)

This thread is quite detailed in instructions:

More general advice! :

 I provide all sorts of verification to Tryst, P411 and other platforms (at great monthly expense i.e., ad fees). I invest in photoshoots, and maintain a website. I spend far more time on social media than I'm comfortable with in the name of reassurance and brand-building. This is all in the hope of "front-loading" the work of showing you that I'm indeed a real, legit person qualified for the task at hand.

 All of these things can be seen on the internet by any potential client collectively. Beyond that, having extensive back-and-forth communication to prove myself as "real" to each potential new client individually would be terribly inefficient and time consuming. There's also no discernable difference between someone who wants me to send them extra photos because they're uncertain about arranging a date vs someone who wants me to send them extra photos because...they want extra photos.

This simply isn't the sort of engagement where "free samples" are a good idea.

Listen, I completely understand the nerves.

 I'm very nervous myself when meeting new clients for the first time!
If your nerves are at say, 100%...I recommend waiting until that's come down to about 80%.
When you can feel mostly certian and relaxed towards the idea of meeting me is the best time to reach out.
Anything prior to that, I'm going to be frustrated with being asked to prove trustworthiness to someone who simply doesn't trust me yet, and you're still going to be terrified to actually meet.

 The trust will come.
I know I'm a professional and with time, you'll know that too.
So there's no rush!
Just make sure to reach out when you're fully ready.

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